Attention theboz Infidel:

You should pop online in TEH IRC sometime, so I can pick your brain about living in temporary hotels and shipping belongings and such. So many questions, so little time. Right now, my plan is to:

1. Sell off most of my belongings, like the big-ass 50" rear-projection tv, couch, various computers, et al
2. Pack up books, DVDs, games, game consoles, limited set of computers, and files, cables, etc
3. Store said shit in a storage facility, preferrably one that will later be willing to ship the shit to Cullifornia
4. Move into a sublet situation or a long-term-stay hotel/motel near Apple HQ for the first month
5. Spend after work hours visiting potential places to live
6. Find a place to live by the beginning of July
7. Have storage container contents shipped to new Cullifornia address
8. Make a trip to IKEA Berzerkley to repopulate the new home with hip, inexpensive Swedish furniture.
9. Hire day laborers to assemble said furniture
10. After day laborers are gone, order a big-ass HDTV from Best Buy or Fry's or something and have it delivered to my door
11. After delivery dudes are gone, set up home network, and stream porn from the laptop to the big-ass HDTV
12. Jerk it!
13. Take a nap
14. Jerk it again
15. Go back to work
16. Buy either a Vespa or a Segway. If Segway, also enroll in Woz's Cupertino Segway Polo League.
17. Befriend Woz.
18. Order and have delivered four Sherpas to carry me to and from work on a throne atop 2 wooden poles
19. Live life like a king

Man, I own a lot of shit. Like three tvs. There's only one of me, why the holy mother of fuck did I get to the point where I thought I needed three tvs?

Ask Husi

So, ${dipshitBigBoss} is out of town for the next week for his third honeymoon (with his third wife, as he is obviously as good at marriage as he is, say, configuring Postfix), and, having decided to give ${currentEmployer} "two weeks notice", do I:

• Hand in my resignation via email, knowing he won't read it until next week, thus making my "2-week notice" a "1-week notice"?
• Call him during his honeymoon and tell him I resign over the phone.

What would Jesus do? He'd ask you to vote in the poll, that's what he'd do. Jesus loves democracy. And bacon. I like bacon, too. That's about as much as Jesus and I have in common.

Ask My Memory

What the fuck happened Saturday night, yo? Actually, I know what happened. I went to see the 10:00 showing of "United 93", which is one powerful film. I've not seen a theater that full be that quiet after the lights came up. Feeling a little shaken up, I decided I'd stop into the bar adjacent to the theater and get right drunk. Note to self: don't order Glenfiddich from such a bar without checking the price first. I racked up a hundred dollars of bar tab in a little under two hours. Oops!

I also made the mistake of interacting with the general populace. Some dude and his two girl friends sat down next to me, and jibbar jabber ensued. Then the bar closed. Then I left. Then I apparently stopped at Harris Teeter and got a pack of smokes. I don't recall this section of the evening. I do, however, recall walking back towards home, tripping over a crack in the sidewalk, sending my phone out of my pocket. I recall hearing it hit the ground, then falling on my ass 3 or 4 times while rooting about in the briar patch next to the sidewalk where I thought my phone would be, then dragging myself back up to the sidewalk, and spying my phone, sitting right there, laughing at me.

Now I have an 18" scar on the back of my right leg, and my arms, back, and neck are in constant pain. Pretty awesome? NO!

Hilariously enough, I ran into the dude from the bar when I was almost home. He invited me in to his friend's apartment, where I had another couple of beers, before the friend got all paranoid and figured I must be a cop. Maybe it was my cop uniform. Or my manbeard. Or that holstered H&K. Who knows for sure? Anyway, I then went home and slept until 1:30 the next afternoon. After a smoke, and some microwaved lunch, I went back to bed, where I stayed until 7:00pm. Good times. Two days later, and I'm still hungover. WOOHOO! Also, I have made a poops-load of poops in the last 48 hours.

I Have Leftover Shrimp

From dinner last night. I think I'm going to doctor a Totino's pizza by adding the shrimp. End result: PROBABLY DELICIOUS!

Even Though You Bastards Repeated Snub Me

I'm still offering a mathgeeks cover of (The Reverend) Al Green's, "What a wonderful thing love is." You're welcome, THE WORLD!

OK, time to bake pizza. And if it doesn't start raining, later I'll go in to the office to retrieve my belongings (which is pretty much just a pair of office shoes and two books at this point) before I come back home and either email my resignation or email it, and give shithead a call.